Posts in Category: Breakups

Does Your Ex Want You Back? 4 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Dead

Does your ex secretly want you back?

Does your ex secretly want you back?

Does your ex want you back?  If your ex isn’t groveling or trying to prove his or her love after a breakup, it can be very difficult to tell.

The simple truth is, the outlandish professions of love you see in the movies rarely happen in real life. In most cases, your ex will use a very subtle approach to get back into your life.

The main reason behind this type of behavior lies between the twin forces of ego and cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is defined as the state of having erratic attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts.  In simpler terms, it is when an individual’s thought processes do not line up with their actions.

To put it bluntly, when somebody has cognitive dissonance, they tend to feel like crap. In most cases, this internal struggle leads to self- sabotage.

For instance, your ex might want to get back with you, but their beliefs will not allow for such a thing to happen. In their minds, it would seem like they were going back on their word. This situation will continue to bother them until they make a decision.

On the other hand, rejection poses a huge risk to a person’s ego.  An ex is typically afraid of grand gestures because they don’t want to be rejected.  They usually prefer to take small steps. At the end of the day, they can tell themselves that they tried but you just weren’t interested.

Determining whether or not your ex secretly wants you back is quite hard.  However, here are 4 signs to help you determine your ex’s true intentions.

1. They Sustain Non-Essential Contact

If you have a child together, then it’s fairly reasonable for your ex to stay in touch.  In a situation like this, you could consider the communication “essential”, even though it might still be very business-like.

However, if your ex tends to contact you out of the blue for no obvious or necessary reason, it is a clear sign they don’t want to let go of you entirely.

2. Emotional Outbursts

It is better for an ex to have some sort of feelings towards you than none at all.  Hate isn’t the opposite of love, apathy is.

When they feel hurt or angry about something, they may confront you. This shows you still have meaning in their life, and they still harbor strong feelings toward you.

3. They Explain The Breakup Over And Over Again

Someone who still cares about you will keep on re-hashing what went wrong.  An ex usually does this because they are looking for an opportunity to reconcile with you.

This can be a very confusing time for both parties, but is a good indicator your ex isn’t ready to completely call it quits on the relationship.

4. Sharing The Positive Aspects Of Their Life With You

If your ex starts to lose weight, play a new sport or gets a tan, it’s not a must that he or she tells you.  If your ex tells you about all the positive changes taking place in their life, then it could be a sign they are seeking your approval and trying to become a better person to impress you.  It could very well be an attempt to get you back.

Breakups happen.  Most people have found themselves in this sort of situation at one time or another.

However, determining the future of your relationship will depend on how both of you feel about each other. If the love is not mutual, then it won’t really matter if your ex wants you back or not.