5 Steps To Fix Your Sexless Relationship
Let’s face it! Intimacy is one of the most common causes of breakups today. Most people cheat because they aren’t getting as intimate as they would like to be with their partners.
As much as couples argue and say hurtful things to each other, it usually boils down to sex. Sex can fix just about any problem you can think of in a relationship. It is however important to note that attraction may fade after years of having sex or when kids come into the picture. Also, lack of time and stress can result in a sexless relationship.
Having understood some of the main reasons behind a sexless relationship, let’s now turn our focus to fixing the problem. If you happen to be struggling in a sexless relationship look no further. You might have started off great with your partner but now things have become much worse. This isn’t the relationship you dreamed of having. Don’t worry. All is not lost.
Below are 5 steps to fixing a sexless relationship.
1. Find out exactly what you want
This is one of the most important steps to fixing intimacy problems in any relationship. This step is crucial because it makes you evaluate yourself. For instance, you will discover if your wants are realistic.
You will also be able to define what a sexless relationship means to you because different people have different definitions. Does a sexless relationship entail having sex once a month, once in two months, once in six months etc? You must find out what you really want and have a reasonable frequency in mind before you consider approaching your partner.
2. Approach your partner calmly
Although lack of intimacy can create hostility between couples, you need to approach your partner calmly without anger. Sex is a very important thing in any relationship. When it isn’t working, it warrants a discussion. This step is important for bringing your partner closer.
It is important to note that it doesn’t help to point fingers when it comes to bedroom matters. Think before you speak, be calm, and be sincere. You should also be willing to listen to whatever answers you get, and respect the fact your partner may not see things the same way you do. Be willing to compromise.
3. Establish the root cause of the problem
As mentioned above, lack of intimacy in relationships is a result of many things. It doesn’t have to be intentional. Your partner could be withholding sex because they are stressed, busy, occupied with work and kids etc. From step 2, you should be able to establish the cause of the problem.
4. Make the necessary changes
From your partner’s feedback, you should be able to arrive to a solution which involves making changes in certain aspects of your life. Your relationship could be lacking intimacy because you are too busy when your partner is free and vice versa. Fix the problem. It could also be a personal issue from hygiene to weight issues and monotony. Whatever it is, work together to fix it. It doesn’t help to get defensive or point fingers.
5. Suggest counseling
If the above steps fail to bear fruit or you don’t seem to find or agree about the cause of the problem, you can suggest counseling. However, this should be a last resort. Work together to solve things first, then seek the services of a professional when everything else fails and you just can’t see eye to eye.